The conflict or disagreement that I have experienced was on my job with my manager. My manager would insult my work and I just started my position three months ago. My manager asked if she could speak to me, but it was not in private. My manager stated that my appeals to a insurance company was not adequate and if she was a insurance carrier that viewed my appeal that she would have threw it in the trash. My facial expression was shocking, embarrassed and hurt. I paused for a minute and then I stated to her “can I speak with you in private in regards to the issue.” When we met behind closed doors, I stated to my manager “I do not appreciate you calling me out in front of my coworkers in such a manner.” I also stated “can you show or train me in a more effective and respectful way in what verbiage should I use when sending out appeals. My manager apologized to me and stated that she did not mean to offend or disrespect me and that she would show me what verbiage to use in certain situations. The strategies that I have learned was to stay positive, when dealing with upper management do not take it personal when it comes to criticism, think before you speak, respect yourself and others, resolve conflict in a positive manner and be responsible for your own actions (NVC, 2012). These strategies are effective because there was a positive suggestion and outcome, the negative beginning of the conversation was turned around to be more effective and the tone of voice was soft and respectful. I believe that the 3 R’s of respect, responsibility and to resolve conflict was utilized in this situation. Since I was in a previous leadership role, I had the experience, professionalism and respect to know how to handle the situation in a more appropriate manner.
Reference
The Center for Nonviolent Communication. (n.d.). Retrieved: July 23, 2012. The center for nonviolent communication. Retrieved from www.cnvc.org
Tammie,
ReplyDeleteCongratulations for doing the right thing; confronting your manager in a positive attitude but standing for yourself and for asking for help to correctly fill out forms.
Tammie,
ReplyDeleteI am a very sensitive person also. I don't like being called out in front of other people. I am the type of person that has no problem with people correcting me when I feel it's done in a positive way. The problem is that it's not always going to be that way.
Tammie,
ReplyDeleteI am glad you were able to turn that around, and make it a positive experience. I think sometimes as we have learned that the task or communication at hand is not always on the front burner in our mind. It should be, but things happen. Perhaps your manager was having one of those moments, but luckily your were able to respond to her in a way that allowed her to hear your and not be offended. I think you were respectful in asking her to speak with her in private. It also took respect on her part to accept that challenge after slipping a little when she ask you. Also, congrats on asking for help sometimes this can be a big step especially after being put down, in a way.
Ginny
Tammie,
ReplyDeleteDealing with supervisors is always tricky especially when they call us out in front of others. It sounds like what you did took a lot of control and that you were truly working on using nonviolent communication skills. I just hope that your supervisor realizes what occurred and begins to reevaluate her own conflict & communication skills.