Nonviolent Communication and Conflict Management

The conflict or disagreement that I have experienced was on my job with my manager. My manager would insult my work and I just started my position three months ago. My manager asked if she could speak to me, but it was not in private. My manager stated that my appeals to a insurance company was not adequate and if she was a insurance carrier that viewed my appeal that she would have threw it in the trash. My facial expression was shocking, embarrassed and hurt. I paused for a minute and then I stated to her “can I speak with you in private in regards to the issue.” When we met behind closed doors, I stated to my manager “I do not appreciate you calling me out in front of my coworkers in such a manner.” I also stated “can you show or train me in a more effective and respectful way in what verbiage should I use when sending out appeals. My manager apologized to me and stated that she did not mean to offend or disrespect me and that she would show me what verbiage to use in certain situations. The strategies that I have learned was to stay positive, when dealing with upper management do not take it personal when it comes to criticism, think before you speak, respect yourself and others, resolve conflict in a positive manner and be responsible for your own actions (NVC, 2012). These strategies are effective because there was a positive suggestion and outcome, the negative beginning of the conversation was turned around to be more effective and the tone of voice was soft and respectful. I believe that the 3 R’s of respect, responsibility and to resolve conflict was utilized in this situation. Since I was in a previous leadership role, I had the experience, professionalism and respect to know how to handle the situation in a more appropriate manner.  

Reference

The Center for Nonviolent Communication. (n.d.). Retrieved: July 23, 2012. The center for nonviolent communication. Retrieved from www.cnvc.org

Who Am I as a Communicator

The similarities in how I view myself and how other people viewed me as a communicator, is that we both viewed me as a good listener and well spoken individual. The difference in how I viewed myself and how other people viewed me as a communicator was surprising because some people viewed me as having a “lack of communication.” I was really bothered by the fact that many people viewed me as not sticking to the topic, not having all the facts and waiting until a topic is closed before speaking out. I have learned that communication is part of building a relationship and that it takes good communication skills such as being a good listener, sticking to the topic, respecting other people’s opinion and views, be careful of your choice of words, watch my tone of voice, watch verbal and non verbal communication and to be able to interpret information accurately so that you can respond appropriately and in a timely manner (O'Hair & Wiemann, 2009). All of the communication skills will help me professionally and personally by enabling me to be more clear in my responses and listen more carefully so that I can respond in a better manner, so that children and families as well as colleagues and peers would understand exactly what I am saying.

Reference

O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2009). Real communication an introduction. Boston MA:Bedford's St. Martin’s.         

Real Communication and Diversity

When I think of what makes up culture and diversity and engage in some type communication with groups that are different from me, I see myself talking in a different manner. For example, when I am speaking with someone that has similarities with my culture, I am more comfortable and speak in a freestyle manner, but intelligent depending on what the conversation is in regard to and who I am speaking to. While I am speaking to someone that has similar groups and cultural aspects of my own, I still give the same respect and understanding as I would anyone that is different from me. When I am engaged in a conversation with someone who has different groups and cultural aspects from I see myself speaking in a more intelligent and tense manner, but I am still providing them with respect and dignity. Since I speak to cultures different from my own in a different manner, I have to get a better understanding of their beliefs, language, and what is seen as disrespectful and what is not.

I have learned that you must be mindful of the different languages, tone of voice and body language that is being perceived by the person that you are communicating to (O'Hair & Wiemann, 2009). It is important to remember to have understanding and respect as well as knowing that it is not what you say but how you say and who you say it to, in order to make sure that the information is being interpreted clearly and concisely with respect to the other person. Not everyone understands and perceives messages the same, even though you are speaking to different groups and cultures at the same time about the same thing.

Reference

O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2009). Real communication an introduction. Boston MA: Bedford's St. Martin’s .

Communication Skills and Styles

The show that I watched without sound is “The Marriage Chronicle”on BET. This show was about marriage couples going through the changes in a relationship, but the most significant thing was their non verbal communication. The married couples in the movie stop communicating or sending unclear messages to their spouse. One spouse was expressing what they feel to their spouse, but the receiving spouse was not listening. With the sound off the married couples demonstrated communication through body language and facial expressions. The couple’s relationships were based on trust and love, but somewhere down the line as they grew, they separated by not communicating and being honest and open with each other. Their facial expressions were more of sad in some scenes, angry in others and just confused. Once I turned the sound on, I was amazed that I had interpreted the information correct. The male companion did not listen to what his wife was expressing, so he really did not know that she was opening up and telling him how she really feels. The male companion was influenced by perception of the male role, and to ignore what his wife was speaking about. When the couple went to marriage counseling, the male companion was surprised at how other people perceived what his wife was telling him (BET, 2012). 

 I learned that when being open, honest and a good listener that this help build a better understanding of communication. A key part of communicating is listening, being clear and understanding to other person (O’Hair & Wiemann, 2009). This all breaks down to respecting each other, what each other has to say and their responses. If you are not an effective, understanding communicator or listener then you will not perceive the information being given correctly.  I know that  my perceptions would have been different if this show was previously viewed,  because I would be familiar with and understand exactly was is being stated and the audience the message is intended for.

 

Reference

BET. (2012). The marriage chronicle. Black Entertainment Television.

O’ Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2009). Real communication: An introduction. Boston, MA: Bedford/St. Martin’s.

Real Communication

The person that I believe that demonstrates competent communication is the President of the United States Barack Obama. The reason that I feel and state this is because when he speaks it is clear concise, and get the attention of audiences. President Barack Obama communicates in ethical way, that shows respect and dignity to all people from all nations even outside of the United States. I would want to model this person's behavior and communication skills because it is positive and it sends a message to society in a respectful manner that creates a respectful relationship and common ground to a solution. I have learned from this person's communication techniques in a way that I can translate to children and families in a unique way. When we communicate in a effective, ethical and respectful manner, we can get more attention and build a better relationship between our peers, children and families (O’Hair & Wiemann, 2009)

Reference
O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2009). Real communication an introduction. Boston MA: Bedford's St. Martin’s.